A Hero, A Heroine, and A Half Marathon pt. 3

December 6th is Ashley's birthday. This forever changed how Dana and I looked at Christmas. We always enjoyed the Christmas Season, but having a child of our own made it so much more meaningful. Dana always has the house decorated before Ashley's birthday and the celebration of birthday and Christmas keep us very busy the whole month long. Dana loves it. She is the Czarina of Christmas and decorates our home with a personal touch that always changes a little bit from year to year, but has her look all over it.

This year, my daughters added another tradition to our Christmas celebration. Ashley and Allyson wanted me to run the White Rock Half Marathon with them. It sounded like a great idea in July, but the night before the race, I was beginning to wonder what I had gotten myself into. I have to admit that where my daughters are concerned, I am one walking "YES" and I wouldn't have thought about letting them down. They had both trained so hard, and they were up for the challenge.

I had run "The Rock" back in 1995. That year I ran the full marathon, 26.2 miles. I had trained for five months, and logged over 500 miles, and competed in several serious preliminary races to condition my body for the event. Nothing prepared me for the 17 degree weather that greeted us that morning in Downtown Dallas. It warmed up to 19 degrees by the time we hit the run around White Rock Lake, but by that time the core of my body was feeling the chill. When I hit the wall, it was really an iceberg. I finished the race with the help of Dana. She met me at different intervals, and ran close to seven miles with me. She filled in for my training partner, Steve Simpson. Just before race day Steve developed kidney stones and could not run the marathon. He was courageous enough to start it with me, but after a mile or two I was alone with my thoughts for most of the day. Thank God for Phil Whittington who met me a few yards short of "The Wall" or 20 mile mark. He talked me through the final 6.2 miles to the finish line. Steve Simpson slipped in and ran the last few yards with me. We had been through too much together to miss out on the final steps of the race as partners. It was a great day, but it took its toll on me. The cold lingered in my body, and I couldn't get warm. I had to lead out in a Christmas service that night, and when I saw pictures I didn't recognize myself. It caused me to often say, I ran two marathons in one day...my first and my last!

With this experience under my belt, I knew what I was up against, and knew most of it was mental. I asked God to allow me to finish this race in good enough shape to continue my journey to health and fitness. I have lost 70 plus pounds since February, but I was still not pleased with my conditioning. I just did not want to fail to finish and end up with an injury that would impede my fitness regimen for the new year. It was a tall order, but God answered my prayer.

Dana and I picked up our daughters at 6:30 AM Sunday morning and drove to Fair Park in Dallas, Texas. We drove past a long line of motorists trying to get to the Fairgrounds. Traffic was backed up on I-30 for miles. I was fortunate to have been raised just a block from the State Fair of Texas. I knew back streets and access that got us ahead of the crowd, and Dana had talked her way into a VIP parking pass. By 7:30 PM we were in position, and ready for the 8 AM start. With over 22,000 runners, the staggered starts began closer to 8:10 AM but my heat did not get going until 8:45 AM. Unfortunately the girls were in a different starting group, so I was on my own again. This was fortunate for them, and not so bad for me.

I ran through areas of Dallas that marked the earliest stages of my life. The course took me past Gaston Avenue Baptist Church and Craig's Chapel. This is where I attended the Dallas Pastor's Conference with my father when he was President of that great group of men. He introduced me to the pastors that day, and Dr. W.A. Criswell took the time to give me a personal word of encouragement. I went by Baylor Hospital where I was born, and through Turtle Creek where my father took me to fish. I passed by old churches that I recognized by their names that I had seen on fast pitch softball teams I had competed against as a teenager.

In this day of perpetual and inescapable communication, we were able to find out that Jeff Sadler crossed the finish line in 1 hr and 9 minutes. I was at mile marker #5 when he did it. I was pleased to learn he was a Senior at Baylor University and a member of the Cross Country and Track and Field Team. Since the race, we have become friends on Facebook and reconnected with his college coach, Danny Brabham. He was my roommate at Baylor when we were both on the track team and living in Martin Hall. Danny was an All American at Baylor. My own athletic career reads more like a Greek tragedy.

I was feeling no pain until mile nine, and then I realized that I had been separated from the food supply that Dana had prepared for me. My quads (upper legs) were on fire and threatening to cramp up. When that happens the race is over no matter how much energy and wind I have left. I saw a little bakery up ahead, and ran in and took my place in line. I was a little conspicuous, but I was able buy a banana and apple and get back on the road without too much delay. As soon as I wolfed these down, and swallowed the rest of my liquid B-12, I was good to go.

The pain in my legs went away, but I was soon nagged by a blister on my right foot. This small irritation felt like a hot poker, and was starting to bother me. It played with my mind until I heard, a loud, "Slap!...Slap!...Slap!...Slap!" coming from over my left shoulder. I soon saw a young lady running with a dog on a leash. She had one good leg, and a metal prosthesis on the other. She was running faster than me! She had to stop occasionally to adjust the attachment to her leg, but she was motoring.

That along with plenty of other visible examples of inspirational people overcoming their own challenges pretty much ended any whining I had intended to replay to myself over the blister issue. I decided to focus on getting to the finish line, and enjoying what was left of the race.

I started noticing the signs people were holding, and the songs that the bands were playing.
A few of my favorite signs were...

• "Run like you stole it!"
• "Run On Complete Stranger!"
• "I Love Holding Signs!"
• "Pain is just the feeling of weakness escaping!"

I ran over to the guy holding the "Complete Stranger" sign and said, "I have been looking for you the whole race, we need to meet!" He was really surprised, and acted like he was glad to meet me.

The race finally ended, and it did not bother me that I was way behind my awesome daughters. They did so well. I was so proud of them, and not just a little pleased with myself. I didn't finish last, and I was passing people at the end. I was able to recover from my soreness and begin running again by Wednesday. I reached my personal goals, finishing the race, avoiding injury and sharing a great experience with my daughters on a beautiful day. We are already planning to enter another half marathon in March.

What a difference a year makes. A year ago Dana and I were in Fayetteville, Arkansas and she was recovering from her final surgery for breast cancer. 2010 has been a year of recovering our health and repositioning ourselves for ministry. We are grateful to be closer to our daughters, our parents, and our friends who have prayed for us for years. We look forward to 2011 with an expectation that God is up to something great in this world, and we are privileged to play a small part in it.

The Power of Pink XVII

Teaching Men How to Fight Like a Girl

What a difference a year makes. In December of 2009 Dana and I were making plans for a trip to Fayetteville, Arkansas. She was scheduled for surgery on the 10th, and we were trying to get everything in order to make the journey north and prepare for the recovery that would follow. Her surgery had been postponed month after month since May, and to say the least we were ready to "Gitter dun."

Thanks to Facebook, I was able to reconnect with hundreds of people and enlist them to P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happened). After months of delays, the stone began to roll up hill. Within 72 hours of contacting people we have not seen in years, God began to answer their prayers. We had a fine surgeon become available to us, Dr. Michael Cross of Fayetteville. We were surprise to discover that his head nurse was a delightful young lady that we had known since she was a teenager. We had a hospital surgical room open up and a date for surgery. We had a place to stay that was five minutes from the doctor's office, and seven minutes from the hospital. Bob and Sharna Arthur made their home and hearts available to us and provided incredible hospitality to us for a week. They remain two very special people in our lives.

A year later I am seated in our new home in Fort Worth, Texas, listening to Christmas music and watching Dana unpack Christmas decorations. She has always been the reigning czarina of Christmas, and watching her turn Thanksgiving into Christmas is a modern marvel. She has a touch that few people have for making this season a special time of year for her family and friends.

December holds so much meaning for us on more than one level. Our first child, Ashley, was born on December 6th while we were serving as Student Pastors at First Baptist Church of Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Any parent will understand what I mean when I say, Christmas has never been the same since she arrived. Dana always has the tree up and the halls decked by Ashley's birthday. My assignment is hauling Thanksgiving boxes out and trading spaces in the garage with the Christmas decorations that Dana will need to make the transition complete.

I have always enjoyed Christmas, but this year, I am so pleased to be heading into this season with a quick glance in the rear view mirror at the events of a year ago. The oncologist and her surgeon have seen her in recent days and given her a clean bill of health. The reports could not be any more encouraging. As you can imagine, we paused at Thanksgiving to say a heart felt, "Thank you Lord!" We are also grateful to God for giving us a future and a hope.

In the past five months we have resigned from thirty years in the pastorate, sold our home, moved to another city, set up a non-profit ministry, applied for 501c3 status from the IRS, hired a CPA, driven 4,500 miles to seven states to lead prayer conferences that equip people to utilize prayer as the foundation for family worship. We have a few weeks here at home during December to regroup before we head into a very aggressive schedule for January through March. We will soon be on the road to Nebraska, Mississippi, Ohio, Maine, Georgia, and Texas. In between these stateside ministry opportunities will be our first trip to Israel January 30th to February 9th. Our host will be Gov. Mike Huckabee. We are very excited!

These next four weeks remind me of the lull before the storm. I probably should be asking for prayer for my strength to complete a half marathon in Dallas on December 5th. My daughters talked me into this one. Even though I am 71 pounds lighter than I was a year ago, I am not ready to run this race, but I am going to do it anyway. Ready or not here I come. That seems to be our family motto. If I knew how to write it in Latin, I would put it on our family crest. This would be appropriately emblazoned over the face of a calf looking at a new gate.

Don't get me wrong. Dana and I love our lives. After three years of the fight with breast cancer, I am beginning to see why she has called this battle her "Great Adventure." We wouldn't have it any other way. God has proven Himself faithful in so many ways in the past five months of this new journey of faith. We have seen him open doors of service, and provide for our needs in the most unusual ways.

I have found the meaning of the words, "Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am." (Philippians 4:11) The old King James Version used the language, "Whatsoever state" in place of "circumstances." As we have traveled from state to state throughout this great nation, I have been comforted by the old English interpretation of Paul's words. I know he did not mean to say he has learned to be content in the states of Maine, Vermont, Massachusetts, Virginia, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, Georgia, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Nevada, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Kansas, Iowa, Minnesota and Ohio. However, we have still learned to be content traveling and trusting God to be at work long before we arrive on the scene in a new place of ministry. We have also had the joy of seeing him provide the means to minister even when there is no visible sign of support in front of us.

As we approach this season of Christmas, we are more encouraged than we have been in years. As we have interacted with believers all over the United States, we have been impressed with the length and breadth of the work that God is doing. His Holy Spirit is not confined to the limits of what Southern Baptists will allow Him to do in their lives, churches and denominational machinery. He is touching lives of people and bypassing stagnant pulpits, impotent hierarchies and gridlocked bureaucracies of all kinds of established denominations. God is stirring in the hearts of people across denominational lines and heritages who are hungry for a movement of God. I am thrilled to be a part of something that only He can get credit for. Join with me as we pray for a Spiritual Awakening that will bring about genuine repentance and transformed lives through the power of the Holy Spirit.

"The blessing of Pentecost may be lost, and it is always lost when obedience fails. The Spirit-filled must be Spirit-ruled. We are the ministers of the Spirit through Whom the supply is conveyed. Those who are greatly used of God have no monopoly on the Holy Ghost; they are mighty through God because the Spirit has a monopoly of them." Samuel Chadwick

The Power of Pink XVI

Teaching Men How to Fight Like a Girl

"Pray for all the saints, and for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel." Ephesians 6:18-19

When Dana began her "Great Adventure" I felt compelled to pray for her. In March of 2008, I was preaching at First Baptist Church, Sylvester, Georgia for a series of meetings on prayer. I received a call from Dana that she had discovered a suspicious lump under her arm. She made an appointment to get it tested, and I made plans to return home to be with her when this took place. I immediately bombarded God with requests to have this lump go away. When the lump remained, I prayed that is would be benign. When tissue taken from her body looked suspicious, I called on God to keep it from spreading to other parts of her body. When it appeared to be in her breast, I prayed that the cancer would be contained, and removed with the simplest procedure possible. When the results indicated that it was in more than one place, I prayed that she would not have to have both breasts removed. When she had both breasts removed, I prayed that she would have some degree of normalcy restored. When reconstructive surgery was delayed for almost a year, I began to realize my prayers were not achieving my desired results. I had a terrible track record. I had my prayers answered. but I did not receive the answers I wanted.

When Dana and I had met with her oncologist he told us that he believed the first thing that we needed to bring to this fight was prayer. We both couldn't have agreed more. The problem was not about praying for help. The problem I was having with God is that I was not getting the help I needed. This "Great Adventure" was moving down the wrong road. I was praying for healing for Dana, and my answers were getting us nowhere fast. This adventure was turning into a disaster. My prayers began to more accusatory than intercessory, and I am so glad that I did not write them down for others to read. God heard some things from me that I would not want others to overhear.

By the summer of 2009 I became impressed to study the armor of God as described in Ephesians chapter six. The key word that jumped out at me me was "stand." I began to realize that I was not called to attack the enemy, but to stand in the face of an attack. Three times the soldier is called to stand or to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. There is no armor provided for a safe retreat. If a soldier turns his back, removes his helmet, lowers his shield, or drops his sword, he becomes vulnerable. If he stands next to The Champion, he is invincible.

Interceding for my wife to be healed had left me exhausted. I couldn't tell if I was tired of the fight or tired in it. All I knew was that I was tired. Prayer is hard work even when prayers are being answered the way you want them to be answered. Believing prayer is harder to do when the answers come, but are not delivered in the way that you want. I was ready to quit praying since it didn't seem to matter what I asked. The answer was not what I was looking for.

The Apostle Paul reminds the prayer warrior to always pray for others with perseverance. A quick read led me to be pretty sure that this word left no room for quit in the matter of intercessory prayer. As I studied it, I discovered that it implied steadfastness, patience, and persistence. When put into practice it means to attend constantly, continue unswervingly, adhere firmly, or to hold fast to a cause. When applied to prayer it simply means to continue, regardless. Regardless of what? Regardless of any obstacle, delay, threat, or attack a faithful prayer warrior will patiently, and continually depend on his Champion, Jesus Christ.

I wasn't happy about the answers I was getting, but I continued to pray for Dana to be healed. As I studied the armor of God, I became aware of my own need for people to pray for me. I realized Paul had a higher motive for having people pray for him. He asked that he would have boldness to make known the mystery of the gospel. This mystery is a secret that God has allowed His children to have the privilege to tell the whole world. The good news of the gospel is that God has sent us a Savior, His Son Jesus, to take our place on the cross and pay the penalty for our sin. There is a way back to God, and Jesus is The Way, The Truth, and The Life.

What a great honor to be able to tell others that God loves them, and has a wonderful plan of salvation that is found only through the person of His Son, Jesus. Dana had been asking God to give her a platform to share the gospel with hurting people. She embraced breast cancer as her "Great Adventure" and allowed God to prepare her to receive a special grace under fire. I was slow to the battle, but I followed her lead. As her husband, I wanted the firing to stop more than I wanted to stand at her side in the fight. When I saw her put her hand in the hand of Jesus, and take her stand by His side, I began to see a whole new purpose in the battle. She was being transformed into a radiant warrior who stood in the face of the worst the enemy could throw at her. Her confidence was in Christ.

Standing next to Jesus always gives a warrior a better view of the battle field. Jesus has taken the high ground, and invites us to stand next to Him where we can see the victory. Men will always become better prayer warriors when they learn how to fight like a girl. Thank you Dana for standing firm, and standing close to Jesus. You are an inspiration to me and to many others.

The Power of Pink XV

Teaching Men How to Fight Like a Girl

"...watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints." Ephesian 6:18

The purpose of the armor of God is to prepare the warrior to stand watch and pray for all the saints. All, except one, of the weapons of the spiritual warfare expected of a soldier of Christ are defensive in nature. This is the sword of the Spirit or the Word of God. This should be a gentle reminder that the person who stands next to Christ in the battle line should expect to come under attack. The enemy is not intimidated by their weapons, but they are intimidated by their Champion. He has already defeated the worst they can do to him, and they have no power to conquer Him. As long as His followers stand behind what He has provided, they are invincible.

Christ followers are pictured in Ephesians as warriors, but they are not called upon to retreat or charge, but to stand. They stand watch when they persevere in prayer "for all saints." This is a powerful reminder of a believer's reason for existence. Prayer is the order of the day, not an option or personal preference. Prayerless people are AWOL in the battle against evil. They have either refused to take their stand, or they have retreated under intense enemy attack.

The battle plan that is outlined in this passage of scripture is very simple. Put on the armor of God. Stand against the schemes of the devil. Pray always in the Spirit. Persevere in prayer for the needs of others. This final line of battle is called INTERCESSION. It means standing in the gap for someone else. It is not about personal preferences or petitions, but about perseverance.

Men are driven to take charge of a situation. When Dana was diagnosed with breast cancer, I wanted to do something. Before long it became obvious that this attack was more than I could handle, and there was very little I could do about it. The enemy had bypassed me, and the damage had been done. I had not blocked the incoming missiles from her body, and even the cure left a mark. It gave every appearance of having the capacity to kill her too. I felt impotent, and almost infantile in my efforts to provide support and encouragement to her in the fight of her life.

Praying for her became a positive way for me to bring what she needed to The Intercessor and allow Jesus to meet her needs in ways that I could not. Since Dana's childhood, her favorite verse of Scripture has always been, "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19) Praying for Dana was the only way I had to take her petition to Christ, and to see Him to supply what she needed the most, the Presence of Christ in the midst of her crisis. Intercession moves the intercessor from the focus of the prayer. Intercession is another way of reminding the prayer warrior, "THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!" This kind of praying gets the eyes of the prayer warrior off of their own navel. There is a huge difference between picking lint out of one's navel, and putting on the armor of God. Intercession puts concern for others into action and away from the paralyzing, angst-driven handringing that usually passes for Christian compassion.

Intercession makes it clear that our purpose in life is not to get what we want, but to pray for what others need. When we realize that life is not about us getting what we want, but about consistent companionship with Jesus then our life has new meaning. Asking Jesus to meet the needs of others is how we identify with the mission of the Risen Christ. He sits at the right had of God and intercedes for others continually.

Too many followers of Christ believe intercession is for elite special ops forces to carry out on behalf of the church. They see it as a perilous option, and not a responsibility they should bear. The army of God is made up of run of the mill, reliable recruits, chosen by Christ, in spite of themselves to defeat the enemy with the power of intercession.

Edward McKendree Bounds or E.M. Bounds died in 1913, and is buried in the little town of Washington, GA. He was a great man of prayer of the past century. The final 19 years of his life were spent in prayer, writing, and itinerant ministry. His words live on through the books that he wrote then, and continue to be published today. In one of his classic works on prayer, The Weapon of Prayer, he said, "Praying saints are God's agents for carrying on his saving and providential work on earth."

Men have a natural tendency to want to be large and in charge, and to prove how strong they are to the woman they love. Cancer has a way of evaporating that mirage. Intercession empowers a man to get over himself, and get used to taking Jesus by the hand. Talking to Him about what His wife needs the most makes him an essential part of her fight and her recovery. When he chooses to fight like a man he will end up crying like a little girl. When a man will fight like a girl, he ends up being the kind of man a woman needs. He leads on his knees.

Father, today I am interceding for those who read these words to know the sufficiency of Christ. Grant them their petitions and restore their confidence that Jesus has already showed up in the midst of their crisis to offer them His consistent companionship. Hide them behind your mighty shield, and protect them from the lies of the enemy. Assure them that they are never alone because Jesus will never leave them or forsake them. AMEN!

The Power of Pink XIV

Teaching Men How to Fight Like a Girl

"With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit." Ephesians 6:18

When Dana and I met for the first time with her oncologist, we were already overwhelmed by the endless series of sights, sounds, smells, and the incomprehensible new list vocabulary words we were trying to learn. Hearing them spoken was just the first step to understanding their meaning. Some remain a moving target even to this day. Remission is one of my least favorite words. It doesn't mean much. It does not mean what it sounds like. It is more of an intermission in the fight rather than an end to it. But that is another story.

When the good doctor sat us down to review our options, we were looking for a battle plan to start our fight against the enemy. We had heard well meaning platitudes, received alot of pats on the back, and shed a huge amount of tears. We had felt like victims long enough, now we were ready to hit back, and we needed a way to do it that would end in victory.

As Dr. Olivares spoke, I heard him say that the enemy we faced was a relentless and evil foe. He was a seasoned veteran of the war with cancer, and had just recently walked his own wife through her fight with it. What he shared with us had the ring of authenticity of a person who had been on the front lines of the fight, and was fresh from the battle. His heart as well as his head was in the game, and we could sense that he was interested in giving us help and hope.

As we drove home from our first visit to her oncologist, Dana and I discussed what we each had heard. I described to her my own take on what he had said. The mental image that came to my mind was that of the five fingers of a hand that could be made into a fist to hit back at the enemy with everything we had. When the doctor mentioned prayer, I saw it as the thumb of this hand.

A thumb is essential in making a fist. Without this small, inconspicuous, and seemingly insignificant part of the body, the hand is relatively impotent. It can still wave, gesture, or slap at the enemy, but it does not strike fear or wield instruments of warfare that require a firm grip. Without the thumb a person literally loses their grip on life. I told Dana that I saw prayer as the thumb of the hand that would enable us to get a grip on the weapons of our warfare, and make a fist that could hit back at the enemy.

"With all prayer" is a reminder that fighting the enemy without prayer is a foolish strategy. Standing in the battle line, unwilling or unable to make a fist that can get a grip on the weapons of warfare is not bravery. It is a fool's errand. The enemy knows this. That is why prayerless people do not constitute a threat to the enemy's mission. They are pleased when the ranks of churches are filled with them. They can be turned into a retreating mob that turns on its leaders and tramples everyone around them to escape the slightest threat to their comfort.

"Petition" is an encouragement to bring what we need the most to the only one who can provide it for us. Prayer is not about getting what we want as much as it is calling out to God for what we need. Even Jesus prayed that God would let the cup of his greatest test pass Him by. The longer He prayed in the garden, the less He wanted His own way, and the more God's will for His life took over. That is called being "honest to God." Petitions are not an offense to God. Prayerlessness is. Prayer is the air a warrior breathes, and it gives him a perspective that cannot be obtained in any other climate. God's will may be known, but it is never accepted without prayer. It softens a hardened heart to receive what it needs, even while it asks what it wants.

"Pray at all times" is an invitation to call for reinforcements. Dana and I have been brought to our knees many times since we heard the words, "It's cancer." This has been the way God has brought us to the end of ourselves, and brought us to the sufficiency of Christ. When we were dating, Dana told me that her life verse was, "And my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory, in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:19) We have had this scripture carved into a beautiful plaque and prominently displayed on the wall of our home,throughout our marriage. That does not impress the enemy at all. Living it is what strikes fear into the heart of the enemy. We have learned to pray at all times in order to get a better grip on the hand of Jesus when the enemy intimidates us. Hearing, reading, studying, memorizing, and meditating on the truth of God's word is required to get a real grip on it. When God's word says that He will never leave us or forsake us, prayer enables me to put my hand in His at any time the enemy attacks me with doubt. I have learned to pray as David did when the enemy seized hold of him, "In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid." (Psalms 56:11)

"Pray in the Spirit" describes the character of Christ. "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control." (Galatians 5:22-23) The character of Christ purifies our motives as we pray. Praying in the Spirit is not an out of body experience that raises us above the flames and the fumes of the fight. It describes a struggle with the flesh that has been won in the life of the warrior before he takes the fight to the enemy. Again, Jesus is our prototype for prayer. He came to the point of yielding His will to God's will. Praying in the Spirit of Christ means coming as quickly as possible to the crossroads of the will, and turning our backs on "MY" and choosing to travel down the road to "THY."

Men have a tendency to believe they are large and in charge, or to at least pose as if they are. They are accustomed to having people lean on them to provide what they need. They get a great deal of their sense of purpose from the work they do, or the title they hold. Breast cancer has a way of emasculating a man. It moves him from the firing line to the sideline. It reveals his impotency to do anything to help the one he loves the most. He cannot take her place, shield her from the pain, or deliver her from the attack of cancer or the consequences of the cure. It is hard for a man to admit he is afraid, and even harder to admit that he needs help. Teaching men how to fight like a girl involves showing them that they will never stand taller in the eyes of his wife than when he is on his knees praying for her. A prayerless man may be able to slap, gesture or wave at the enemy, but he will never be able to make a fist without taking personal, believing prayer seriously. When a child is afraid, they will slip their hand into the hand of their parent for protection and assurance. When men pray they get a grip on the hand of God, and begin to sense the Presence of Jesus. Praying in the Spirit means that Jesus is not limited by time and space. The enemy cannot be everywhere at once, but Jesus can be. He offers Himself to us through means of believing prayer.

Prayer enables a warrior to get a grip on the hand of God n the middle of the battle. When the enemy sees a man praying he knows that he has lost his advantage. Enemy attacks are meant to convince a person that they are a victim. Prayer provides the means for warriors to know their victory is in Christ. When we get a grip on Jesus, there is nothing that the enemy can do to rob us of God's best for us.

The Power of Pink XIII

Teaching Men How to Fight Like a Girl

"The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Ephesians 6:17

One of the first things the enemy will do to defeat a believer is to get them to question God's best for them. From the beginning of the fall of man, the forces of evil have perpetuated a spirit of deceit. The old King James Version translated the first words of Satan to Eve as, "Yea, hath God said." (Genesis 3:1) This is a 17th Century way of saying, "You mean to tell me, you are dumb enough to believe everything that God says is true?" Satan has never had to use plan B because his plan A works most of the time.

The sword of the Spirit is the only offensive weapon provided to the believer. Jesus used the Word of God to resist the temptation to believe the worst about God. When Satan tried to get Him to inflate His own ego by depreciating His value of God, Jesus quoted scripture. The Word of God confirms Satan is a world class liar, and the person who does not know what his Bible says is fighting a losing battle.

When Dana was diagnosed with breast cancer, the temptation to doubt God's best for our lives was unleashed with a vengeance. We both were attacked by the enemy with relentless thoughts, that led to sleepless nights, and hopeless days. Vince Lombardi, legendary coach of the Green Bay Packers, told his players, "Fatigue makes cowards of us all." He was right.

At the end of every exhausting day, as we prepared for bed I would say to Dana, "This is becoming my favorite time of the day." All we wanted to do was to pull the covers up over our heads and end it. When people would ask me about our plans, I would say in all seriousness, "If the sun comes up, I plan on getting up." That was about as far as I could see.

Whenever I let dust or rust collect on the sword of the Spirit, the lies of Satan are always more tempting to believe. After a little practice, preachers become adept at sword handling and sword play. This makes them much like reenactors, who put on sword fights or gunfights at theme parks. They can shout, shoot, swagger, and swing their sword or twirl their pistols with all the skill of a juggler. They have no intention of doing any real damage with their sword, and the sad truth about all the shooting and shouting is they are really firing blanks.

Never confuse being a wordsmith with being a blacksmith. Sitting in a comfortable study, and putting a few platitudes together is not the same as forging metal over a flaming furnace. Forming a nicely packaged, pious philosophy of life does not compare with standing over a fire, to sweating, and pound a piece of raw metal into a weapon of warfare.

The sword of the Spirit was always close to me. I had to keep up appearances. Swinging it around and waving it at the enemy was part of my role as a pastor. The problem was that I was not always using it wisely. Military officers are often presented a ceremonial sword to be worn on special occasions. It is not meant to be used for combat, but for decorative purposes only. Placing it on the wall, or wearing it with a dress uniform will never strike fear in the heart of an enemy, or strike a decisive blow against them.

The sword of the Spirit is not meant to be used for decoration, but for declaration. When Jesus rebuked His tempter, He accurately quoted the scripture. He shoved the truth of God down the throat of a roaring, lying lion. He is our best picture of how to properly use the sword of the Spirit. When the lion suffers from a perpetual sore throat it is harder for him to intimidate a believer. If you can't shut the enemy's mouth then give him a good case of laryngitis by using the sword of the Spirit as a powerful tongue depressor.

There were many dark nights when I was intimidated by the lies of the enemy. I would find my mind wandering to places filled with strange sounds and unfamiliar voices. Death seemed bigger than life, and the lies of the enemy seemed to make a great deal of sense. Watching my wife struggle with her fight against breast cancer made a total recovery look very remote. Medical bills piled up. Chemo took its toll. Her hair fell out. Her energy faded. She lost her job. Cash flow dried up. Breasts were removed. Bill went unpaid. Collectors called. Things looked bad, and they felt worse. I remember people saying to me, "Well things can't get much worse." My response was, "I don't say that anymore. There is always tomorrow." The very idea of tomorrow was not filled with hope, but with a sense of foreboding that the worst was yet to come. My perspective did not come from the word of God, but it came just the same. Remember Satan is a liar, and every thought that he puts in your mind is meant to cause you to question God's best for you.

The length of the fight against cancer has a way of robbing people of hope. It wearies people who attempt to remain vigilant in prayer or to provide a support group. People get a bit annoyed or exasperated when cancer warriors do not take the advice contained their well-meaning cards... "Get Well Soon!" I had one mouthy guy comment after Dana's breast removal, "You're done with all this now, right? You can get back to work." He spoke as if Dana and i had been on an extended vacation at a health spa. What a sap. I should have punched him in the nose, and told him we would pick up this conversation after he stopped bleeding. Stonewall Jackson told his students, "If war comes then draw your sword, and throw away the scabbard." I have been a student of Civil War history for decades, but it is only in the last year that I have come to understand what he meant.

When breast cancer hits a woman, they are forced to defend themselves with everything they have for as long as it takes. There is no quarter given by the enemy. There are no time outs. There is no half-time, and there is no luxury of a half-time show that provides a breather between battles. It is a total, take no prisoners, fight til the bitter end. There is no second place in this contest. Winner takes all. Death to the loser.

Men are not naturally equipped to fight breast cancer with this level of intensity. They do not understand that it hits a woman at the very core of her femininity, but it also unleashes the warrior within her. I was surprised at the ferocity with which Dana showed up for the fight, and the tenacity she maintained to win it. Men may be tempted to ask in the middle of the fight, "Are we done yet?" Women know instinctively that this conflict is the fight of their life. They know it will change them. It impacts the way they look and the way they live for the rest of their lives. There is no getting back to normal. There is no normal to return to. There is only the "new normal" to get used to.

The sword of the Spirit is meant to cut the enemy. It does this best when it is taken up and used as an attack weapon. When the believer comes under the attack of the lies of the enemy, they need to be ready to respond with the truth of the Word of God. However, the sword can used in another way. It is not made solely for defense, but it can be an attack weapon. Rather than waiting for a sneak attack to occur, the believer can wield it on offense.

When we use it on offense, it is best used to cut the unbelief and disobedience out of our own lives. Before we try to use it on the enemy, the sword of the Spirit needs to do its work on us. We need to use it to cut out the cancer of sin, and remove any attitude of disobedience in us. When the enemy sees the blood on our sword, that is when they fear what it will do to them. When we come to them with cold, lifeless, religious platitudes hidden away in a calloused heart, then the sword of the Spirit as not been used to cut to the heart of the matter in our own lives. The enemy can smell a phony a mile away. Our adversary and his forces laugh at ceremonial swords. They know they are used by us to keep up appearance, but they know we have given up the fight. They have no fear that the sword will hurt them, when we have not let it cut us.

"For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two edge sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart." (Hebrews 4:12) Don't be surprised when you read the Word of God if your heart does not experience a stinging sensation. I often say when I read the truth found in the Bible, "Ouch, that's going to leave a mark."

Take the lies of the enemy and let God's word judge them to see if they are true or not. Let His word give you His judgment as the final authority on God's love and wonderful plan for your life. When the enemy threatened us with deceit, destruction, and death, Dana taught me how to take up the sword of the Spirit, and cut out the doubt and despair to remember God's best is yet to come. "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

The Power of Pink XII

Teaching Men How to Fight Like a Girl

"And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION." Ephesians 6:17

A helmet protects the head when a soldier comes in contact with the enemy. It's primary purpose is to defend the wearer from the blows that an enemy intends to use to crush their skull, or rattle their brain. Having experienced several concussions over the years from car wrecks and football injuries, I am a firm believer in providing the brain with all the help it can get.

One of the side effects of a conscussion is the "deja vus" feeling. This is a strange, and yet intense belief that what is going on has somehow been dreamed about or experienced before. When a person's head has been hit, the concussion creates a climate of confusion in their mind. It is very disconcerting. Although there may be no life-threatening injury, it is still incapacitating. If the enemy cannot defeat you, the enemy will settle for disorienting you.

When the words, "HELMET OF SALVATION" are used, they are a direct quote from Isaiah 50:17. They describe the Redeemer's wardrobe as He prepares to take the field against His adversaries. The soldier of Christ is given a choice to put on the "Helmet of Salvation" or to face the enemy in his own strength. When people try to fight without the proper protection, it should come as no surprise that their inviting an invasion of their mind by the lies of the enemy.

The helmet that a believer puts on his head is a protection from the lies of the enemy. Perverted propaganda permeates the mind of believers when they forget to put on their protection. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life, no man comes unto the Father, except by Me." The world says, "It doesn't matter what you believe as long as you are sincere." God's word says. "And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved." Acts 4:13 The world says, "We all believe in the same God."

It is not politically correct to say that Jesus is the only hope of salvation. The truth remains. The enemy is fighting against Him, and the position He holds as the way of salvation. When a person invites Jesus into their lives as their Lord and Savior, they receive the victory, but they also join the fight. It may surprise them that their life does not become a bed of ease, but that they become a target for the same enemy that thought it could defeat Jesus. Staying close to Jesus will keep a person from being hit in the head by any idea or concept that sets up another system that overshadows the Savior.

Half a century ago, it was not unusual to see neon signs on prominent, traditional churches flashing the words, "Jesus Saves!" Today, the signs have been taken down and replaced with glossy brochures meant to camouflage the church as a hip, pop culture alternative to the dogmatic bigots who demanded that it was God's way or the highway. When I have attended these churches, I have been struck by their intense effort to make no offense, and to cull out of their vocabulary words that would make people uncomfortable with their separation from God. They offer a well ordered hour of coffee, connection, choruses, and communication designed to be relevant to the prevailing culture.

This seems strange to me. When I go to a mall, they do everything they can to make me feel out of touch with what they have, and create in me a hunger to shed my filthy rags and put on something new. Mirrors and huge glass windows are everywhere. What I wore looked fine when I left the house, but when it put alongside of what is in the window, it looks like trash. When I visit a car dealership, they fill their show room with what I do not have. I am made to feel very uncomfortable with what I drove on to their car lot. The pristine models on their show room floor make it very hard for me leave feeling satisfied driving home in my oil leaking, brake squealing clunker.

When Dana and I heard the word's, "It's cancer!" It was a huge hit to the head. I could not think clearly. I was rattled. She was somehow able to take hold of God's hand, and gain a perspective that I could not grasp. She immediately said, "I knew it. I am just going to have to beat it." I was reeling. She was rallying. Dana's capacity to take hold of the Savior's hand in the middle of her crisis is one of the greatest lessons a man can learn. To fight like a girl means we must let go of our confidence in our capacity to cope with a crisis, and take hold of God's hand to walk us through it.

As a rule, in Western culture, men do not like to hold hands with each other, unless it is limited to a brief, yet firm handshake. When I lived in East Africa, I experienced a different level of appreciation for this act of companionship. Every encounter with another man would involve a series of handshakes and grips. You would be invited to shake, grip, release, shake, grip, release, all the while exchanging various pleasantries. If this exercise was one of genuine friendship or intended to show honor, and respect the hands of the two men would remain clasped as they walked side by side down the road. I never got comfortable with this. Holding hands with another man has never been high on my list of things to do.

Fortunately, women are more accustomed to holding hands with men. They enjoy it. They look forward to it. They see it as a sign of affection, a symbol of identification, and a promise of protection. When Dana took the hand of Jesus, she was taking hold of the Savior's hand to prove Himself faithful to love, to stand and to protect her as she entered the fight of her life. I guess I thought I was going to have to do something. She showed me that she had things well in hands. She kept the main thing the main thing for the entire battle. She knew her salvation came from Jesus. Her eternal security came from Him, and her time on this earth was in His hands. She had a quiet confidence that she was invincible and indestructible, until her work on earth was finished. As I watched Dana walk with Jesus through her "Great Adventure" I began to take baby steps that allowed me to sense His Presence standing next to me. Thank you Jesus for standing firm and taking the hits that were meant for me, and sharing the protection of Your HELMET OF SALVATION.

When men fight like a girl, they let go of their pride and take hold of Jesus. When you are in a head on collision with life, don't be afraid to squeal like a girl and scream, "Jesus take the wheel!" It might become one of your life's greatest hits. Thanks Carrie Underwood, and thank you Dana Miller for teaching me how to fight like a girl.

The Power of Pink XI

Teaching Men How to Fight Like a Girl

"In addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." Ephesians 6:16

The shield of faith is a powerful weapon in the battle against evil. It is defensive in nature, and requires a spirit of submission for it to be effective protection in the middle of a firefight with the enemy. When Dana and I heard the news of her cancer, it shook my faith in God to the core. We had experienced the faithfulness of God for years, but nothing had prepared me for Dana's "Great Adventure." She amazed me with her capacity to see the hand of God in this new challenge. She stepped up to the battle line with a quiet confidence, and calm to begin the fight of her life. What I felt was a great disaster, she received as a great adventure. She got behind the shield faith. She had picked up that shield as a young girl, and found it was no longer child-sized, but had grown to be just what she needed for what she faced.

The shield of faith has the capacity to be what we need it to be when the enemy starts firing at us. The real test of faith is making the right choice between fighting back in our own strength, or to getting behind the shield of faith. Trusting Jesus for our salvation is just the first baby step we take in submitting our will to God's plan for our lives. Learning to live in His will for our lives will take a life time of hiding behind the shield of faith. The enemy lives to intimidate, and irritate the children of God. Their arrows are meant to shake our faith, and cause us to react and retaliate in the flesh. At first glance, our shield always looks too small to protect us from what the enemy is sending our way. It also looks very insignificant to the enemy. That is why the forces of evil are stunned with their attacks do not have the desired effect. They cannot comprehend how such a small shield can give such great protection. Anyone receiving enemy fire will discover that their shield of faith has the capacity to grow to meet the circumstances that come their way. The person who chooses to fight in his own strength, and show his flesh rather than get behind the shield of faith is going to get burned.

The flaming arrows used by the ancient warriors were dripped in tar and then set aflame before they were launched. They were terrifying instruments of death and destruction. If the metal arrowhead did not penetrate the shield and reach the skin of the soldier on the receiving end of the attack, then the melted tar was still a danger. It could still drip down and scald the hands, and feet or blind the eyes when it splattered against the wooden and rawhide surface of the shield. The tar would insure that the fire would remain on the surface and would consume the protective layers if it was not extinguished. The flaming tar could not be wiped off without burning a hand. Any attempt to remove it or rake it off with the sword would mean lowering the shield. This would expose the attacked soldier, and leave him more vulnerable to more damage.
Wherever the tar landed it would burn all the way until it cooled off. It would leave a terribly painful wound and a deep scar if it ever made contact with the skin. The smoke of the burning tar would bring tears to the eyes, and choke the lungs of those who had to breathe it. The aroma would trigger memories in the minds of those who had experienced the scorching impact of fiery, tar drenched arrows. Often soldiers who were untouched themselves by the arrows would be terrified by the screams of the men in the line who had been victimized by them. This would often lead to panic in the ranks. Fear is one of the enemy's greatest weapons.

As Dana took her place behind her shield of faith, I began to see her shield and her faith grow. No matter what the enemy fired at her, she placed her trust in God. I would ask her what God was saying to her, and her answer was often these two words, "Trust Me!" This is a great lesson for self-made men to learn. There are some things in life that a man just can't fix. Breast cancer has a way of emasculating a man. It reveals his limitations. This should not bring resentment, but relief. When a man comes face to face with something only God can fix, it is time to give God the elbow room to get the job done. The safest place to be when the attacks of the enemy come are behind the shield of faith. Anyone who wants to be large and in charge is going to get burned because their flesh will be a perfect target for the enemy. Learning how to fight like a girl will require a man to trust in God more than he trusts in himself. Shields up!

The Power of Pink X

Teaching Men How to Fight Like a Girl

"Stand firm...having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE;" Ephesians 6:15

One of the ways Dana and I handled the trauma and drama of chemo was turning it into an excuse to go shopping to buy her a new pair of shoes. Chemo was never something she looked forward to having, but every step she took towards it meant that the finish line was a little bit closer. When I suggested we buy her a pair of shoes after every treatment, her eyes lit up like a little girl. Who knew that warfare had anything to do with footwear? God did, and Dana couldn't have agreed with Him more. We are still great friends with the ladies at Brighton in Southlake. This became our next stop after every chemo treatment. Men need to be reminded what women seem to know instinctively; shoes are extremely important in warfare.

Putting on armor and standing firm are two very different things indeed. It is not difficult to learn how to put on armor. It takes much training, testing, trial, terror, and tears to learn how to effectively use weapons for their proper use...warfare. They are not meant to be studied in the class room or put in museums as memorials to victories won long ago. These weapons are meant to be put on and put to use in the battle against evil that is raging today.

George Barna said, "Until the church utilizes prayer as the world class weapon in the battle against evil, there is not much hope of a turnaround." I couldn't agree more. For good or for ill, the church in America is a product of the prayers of God's people.

John Wooden, legendary basketball coach at UCLA, used to walk his players through a simple exercise before he let them touch a basketball. He had them sit barefoot on a court side bench and he taught them how to put on their socks. He had a regimen that he expected his players to follow so that they had all the wrinkles out of the sock, and the seams were straight. This process would assure that no blisters developed that would slow down the tempo of the game or take their mind off the real purpose of basketball...winning the game. He knew the greatest athlete in the world could be sidelined by the simplest and smallest thing. To this day Hall of Fame athletes who played for Coach Wooden can recite his lecture and instructions on how to put on a pair of socks. Putting on socks was not the goal of the game of basketball. They do not give trophies for excellence in putting on socks, but there would not be much winning if his players were whining about how much their feet hurt. This great coach knew that there was certain precise preparation that was necessary so that the real goal could be attained.

Ancient Roman soldiers were outfitted with shoes that could withstand what the enemy threw against them. They gave the feet support for long marches, and were equipped with studs on the soles to keep the feet of the soldiers firmly planted on the ground when being pushed by the enemy. Proper footwear was essential to standing firm on the ground that was being attacked by the enemy. It was also imperative to have protection when chasing the enemy from the battlefield. The flotsam and jetsam of war clutters a field with sharp objects that can injure the feet of those who are forced to march across fields of battle. In first century warfare, it was not unusual for a retreating army to litter their path of retreat with glass, nails, discarded armor, and any other debris to impede or injure the feet of those who were trying to finish them off. With proper footwear, the Roman soldiers could finish off the enemy because they not only could stand firm, but they could walk over the attempts of the enemy to delay their inevitable defeat.

The Gospel is good news. It is the greatest news that has ever been told. The news is PEACE.
God provided a way for the hostilities to end between Him and His rebellious children. He cannot make peace with people who remain in rebellion. His character will not allow Him to have a relationship or fellowship with those who have fallen short of what He requires of them. Sin separates, and it requires a solution. God sent His Son, Jesus, to be the bridge between the rebellion of man and His holiness. God provided a way for the war to end, and wrong to be made right. The death of Jesus on the cross paid the penalty of sin. He resurrection from the dead provides the power for new life.

My father often tells the story of when he was in California when he heard that Japan had surrendered, and World War II came to an end. He was still in the U.S. Army, and had been headed to become part of an invasion force that was being assembled to invade the Japanese home island when word came that Japan agreed to surrender unconditionally to the Allied forces. Eventually peace documents were signed on the U.S.S. Missouri that officially ended the war, and my father was discharged from the service. This was good news on so many levels. He was not on his way to invade Japan. He would not become a casualty on an enemy's beach. He was out of the army. He could return to his new wife. He could begin his college education. They could start a new life together. Peace meant so much more than the end of hostilities. It meant life.

When Dana and I heard the news that she had stage II breast cancer, there was a rush of fear and anxiety that flushed away any peace we had in our hearts. The Schemer began to flood our minds with questions about our right standing with God. He tried his best to get us to declare war on God, and develop a rebellious heart towards the only one who could bring us peace. We both heard a perverted voice raise the silent, but deadly doubts, "Was this punishment for something we had done?" "Was this punishment for something we didn't do?" "Is life over for us?" On and on the attacks came as the forces of evil used intimidating images of an angry God making cancer seem became bigger, and thereby robbing us of peace with God.

Peace with God, and peace of God are two sides to the same coin. Unfortunately we have done a better job of taking hold of peace with God than cashing in on the priceless value of the peace of God. Peace with God is based on the promises of God. "Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." (Romans 5:1) The peace of God comes when any accusation that comes from the enemy is taken to God in prayer. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7 )

Dana and I began to learn how to TALK LESS AND PRAY MORE! When we took our anxious doubts about God's love for us back to the One who purchased our salvation, we gained a new perspective on life. Talking about our crisis often led us to devalue what God has done for us. Praying helped us regain a true sense of our net worth. Peace comes from praying to a loving Father who has already provided us with what money can't buy and death can't take away.

Cancer can hit anyone, anytime, and anywhere. It is no respecter of persons. It is not a punishment from God, but it is often used by the enemy with an evil intent. The forces of evil that are arrayed against the child of God cannot steal away the eternal security of a true believer. God is love, and saving His children from the consequences of their sin was His idea. When we put our faith or trust in God's Son, we personally identify with the plan that and the Person who releases God to declare us right in His eyes. When we begin to doubt God's love for us, we fall prey to the schemes of the forces who cannot take away the gift of God's love that is secured by the blood of His Son. The danger comes when we begin devaluing that which is priceless...His love for us.

During your greatest moments of doubt, do not be ashamed to gain comfort from the song of your childhood. "Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so."

The Power of Pink IX

Teaching Men How to Fight Like a Girl

"Stand firm...HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS." Ephesians 6:14

Great men of God have come to the same conclusion about His purpose for their lives, but they always seem to have unique ways of expressing it. This kind of variety is fascinating to me. God speaks through the different personalities and the life experiences of people, but maintains the clarity of His purpose. Bill Stafford says, "God's plan for you life is to knock you out of you so that He can fill you with Himself." Thanks, "Wild" Bill, I needed that. If you have difficulty swallowing what is served up by this fine Tennessee revival preacher, then take a look at what Oswald Chambers, urbane, English, and a professor of psychology turned chaplain had to say. "His purpose is not the development of a man. His purpose is to make a man exactly like Himself, and the characteristic of the Son of Man was self-expenditure. If we believe in Jesus, it is not what we gain, but what He pours through us that counts." Chuck Swindoll said, "Those who have endured the stinging experiences are the choicest counselors God can every use." See what I mean? The weapons of our warfare are meant to enable us to reveal more about Jesus than to receive honor for ourselves.

So what is this breastplate of righteousness all about, and what does it have to do with standing firm in the face of an attack from the evil one. Proverbs gives us a clue. "He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and He preserves the way of His godly ones. Then you will discern righteousness and justice and equity and every good course for wisdom will enter your heart...to deliver you from the way of evil." Prov. 2:12

The most important element in this passage is not the breastplate, but the righteousness. Notice the portion of the reference that is in caps..."THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS." This refers to an Old Testament prophecy about the coming Messiah in Isaiah 11:5. Jesus is the one that is prophesied about, and it is His righteousness that is the focus. The breastplate protected the vital organs of the body from destructive penetration of the weapons of the enemy. There was no hope for survival without this kind of barrier, and there is no hope of salvation without a Savior. Jesus is our righteousness. It is His substitutionary death on the cross that provided the righteousness for believers that only His blood could purchase. He paid the price for our sin. When a person comes to the end of themselves, realizes their need for a Savior, and identifies with His death as the substitution for their sin, then they are declared right in the eyes of a Holy God. The blood of Jesus was a flood of love from His Father that washed away the ultimate weapon in enemy's arsenal, death. It would no longer have the power to inflict frantic fear and ultimate, eternal separation between God and His children.

The forces of evil will always try to get the followers of God to doubt the love of God for His children. They will accuse the soldiers in the line of being posers, and weaklings that cannot withstand exposure of their lives to the light of day. The enemy will accuse the faithful of being hypocrites, failures, and losers in the eyes of the God they follow. Their accusations become laughable when the well armored soldier can pound on the breastplate of righteousness and drown out the the voice of their accusers. The follower of Christ knows that what stands between them and the enemy has been provided to him by the blood of Jesus, and the grace of God. Followers who stand firm will always place the breastplate of righteousness between themselves and the enemy's arrows. When the flaming missiles of deceit, discouragement, delusion, and disillusionment start flying towards them they refuse to turn their backs, but thrust out their chests and let their blood bought breastplate do their fighting for them. They can stand firm because they do not stand alone. They stand right in the eyes of God and in the name of His Son, Jesus.

Men come into this world looking out for themselves. They are convinced they have alot to live for, and from the moment they are born they are screaming for what they want from a woman. They have to learn how to give themselves away, but have never had to take a course in how to get what they want. From the time they are born they know how to let a woman know their needs are not being met. They just scream. The shame of it all is that some men never grow out of this. It doesn't matter if they go to church or not. It makes no difference if they have prayed a prayer to ask Jesus into their heart or have just developed a pattern of going through the liturgy set before them. They simply never get over being selfish. You can stand on the porches of most churches and see this behavior worked out in the flesh. You will observe men getting in their cars, and not one in ten will open the car door for their wives or children. They are hungry, the preacher talked too much, the ball game is about to start, and the Methodists have a head start on them at the cafeteria. People in the parking lot who get in their way are potential speed bumps, and anyone who slows them down from being conformed to the image of the couch is going to get an earful of honking horn and "Why I oughta!"

Dana and I were married on January 1, 1977. Before that time, I made an intensive personal study of what made up a Christian marriage. There were times that I was even called on to lead marriage enrichment retreats as a single guy. Now that I reflect on that part of my ministry, those poor people must have been in real trouble to come to one of those events. One of the things that I discovered was an observation made in one of the countless numbers of books I read on the subject was, "You will never know how selfish you really are until you get married." I don't know why that has stuck with such tenacity over the years, but God has never let me forget it. This short statement carries a huge lesson for me that I am still trying to learn.

Breast cancer is an invasion of privacy and personal space like no other. It attacks a lady at the very core of her femininity, and has the capacity to rob her of what makes her uniquely a woman. One of the things that I have admired most about Dana in her fight against breast cancer is her determination to maintain her sense of style and fashion. She was not going to let breast cancer stop her from being a girl. This may be why she would always refer to this journey as her "Great Adventure." As I watched her fight this battle, I was taken to a new level of appreciation for the woman I had married. I fell in love with someone that I thought I knew, but this level of conflict in our lives gave me a front row seat to a wrestling match between Dana and the enemy. I was limited in what I could do to help her. This was emasculating. Still, I was empowered by observing her capacity to pound on her chest and roar back at the enemy in the middle of the fight. When the enemy dished out its worst, she cinched up her breastplate another notch and stood firm in her resolve to see this through and trust God in the middle of it.

"Teaching Men How to Fight Like a Girl" involves learning that what God has in store for me is not about my comfort in life, but my contribution in life. Women seem to have an instinctive ability to care for others more than themselves. For most men this is a learning curve that will take a life time. I am not talking about morphing into an insipid metrosexual who denies his manhood and fops his way through life getting in touch with his femine side. I am referring to the courage to admit that you do not have the capacity to take on what scares you the most, and being willing to submit your will to God's plan for your life. This plan includes turning your eyes from your own navel, and focusing on a greater purpose in life than weaving your own lint. This starts with spending time with God in prayer and leads to investing your life in others. Wean yourself away from the mother's milk of self-gratification and follow a path of self-expenditure. Plan for the day. Get out of the cotton pickin' car and hold a door open for your wife. She will be shocked and you will have taken a mansized step to learning how to fight like a girl.